(no subject)

Sep. 22nd, 2017 08:39 pm
contrarywise: Glowing green trees along a road (Default)
[personal profile] contrarywise
OMG, the latest xkcd! Yes, I was a huge Anne McCaffrey fan when I was a young and not particularly critical reader. I mean, dragons, FFS!! And no, her work does not age well, nor do her weird brand of homophobia and retrograde sexism endear her to me now. But still, this fills me with an odd glee, being simultaneously stupidly nostalgic and super-current.
jesse_the_k: Knitted red heart pulses larger within green and blue square (Beating heart of love GIF)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
Thanks to a [personal profile] liv-triggered happy rabbit-hole I just read Marissa Lingen's fabulous post illuminating why most people find the experience of impairment so mystifying.

AND YOU MUST READ IT TOO!

http://mrissa.dreamwidth.org/720690.html

if you need convincing: an excerpt )
jesse_the_k: mirror reflection of 1/3 of my head, creating a central third eye, a heart shaped face, and a super-pucker mouth (Default)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
Kim Nielsen is a disability historian. Her one-volume A Disability History of the United States provides an overview of living with disability in these colonies from founding to 1990. What particularly interested me is how non-white-male bodies were defined as disabled, and then how the divisions changed.

http://www.beacon.org/A-Disability-History-of-the-United-States-P836.aspx

On Worldcat in print, braille, and ebook

On her author blog, her essay "God’s Real Name: On Rescues, Ableism, and Unexpected Empathy" explores her reaction to a homeless man who blesses her.

begin quote
My own ableism, my own class squeamishness, and bigotry, my interpretation of his religiosity as distasteful insanity, had led me to dismiss the man. I had excluded him from our joint rescue plan--indeed, had understood him as something to be rescued from--and ignored his offer to gift me with help and rescue.
quote ends


http://www.beaconbroadside.com/broadside/2014/03/gods-real-name-on-rescues-ableism-and-unexpected-empathy.html

WWDE.....

Sep. 20th, 2017 10:10 am
mdehners: (Default)
[personal profile] mdehners
...comes from Michael Anderle's 'Kurtherian Gambit' series. And while it's like the best chips so you can't stop snacking on, this post isn't about the series but about the major Event on Earth.
WWDE stands for World's Worst Day Ever. The Apocalypse. One that is probably the most probable, though Anderle's the 1st writer I've seen to use the method, though I've actually seen the Event's causation mentioned off-n-on online and hardcopy news that tend toward hard sciences.
On Anderle's Earth, various powers had written into the chips they put into their products containing software that would, given the right signal "kill" the product. In one of the "Queen Bitch" books, reporters question a "Green" politico that got kickbacks from one of those powers. The reporters pointed out that replacing an American power plant with Solar from this country meant they could shut off that Power....or even Blackmail by simply threatening. And just like our world, the subject was too "Science-y" and was ignored. As to be expected, everyone who had written this kind of software also had written so that the moment a signal that someone else started, they'd activate THEIRS. In this world, our present civilization was over in MINUTES.
I'm not worried about Global Nuclear War. The PRESENT skirmishes are in Cyberspace as will be the next WW. At least it'll be easier on the environment....
Cheers,
Pat

Departure

Sep. 18th, 2017 10:38 pm
liv: ribbon diagram of a p53 monomer (p53)
[personal profile] liv
I've never left a job before. I spent my 20s as a contract researcher, and when my project came to an end, I just... didn't work in that lab any more. So I didn't know how to give notice, how to do the tax paperwork, it was all completely new to me. Also, the people I've been working closely with for the past eight years were all actually sad to see me go and wanted to mark the rite of passage. That was new to me too, in a mostly touching but slightly bittersweet way.

last days )

I started my new job the following Monday. I need to work out how much I should talk about that in detail here; for one thing it's looking to involve somewhat more blogging and social media presence as my professional persona than the old job did. Also I am still adjusting to living in Cambridge full time, which is probably another post, and I'm up to my eyes preparing for the High Holy Days beginning on Wednesday, so I am going to stick with posting about leaving rather than about arriving for now.

Demilitarized Zone;>....

Sep. 15th, 2017 01:22 pm
mdehners: (Default)
[personal profile] mdehners
When Dad died, we got his car. Much nicer than our old one with one exception. He was a proud Army Pilot Vet and the car declared that from front to back. Unlike my older brother, I'm not "tickled" when someone salutes me or thanks me for my Service. So, I ordered a few things to personalize and while waiting for them to arrive...I stripped it of all it's military stickers and such.
Compared to what was there before there's not much but I'm a bit more quiet than my Dad. On the rear window where 3 stickers were a single Heathen Fish is attached. Where once a Proud Army Pilot vanity plate stood a Celtic Tree of Life does. Add in the Rune Ring I hung from the mirror before I drove it and it's now fully OURS.
Cheers,
Pat

(no subject)

Sep. 15th, 2017 11:16 am
jesse_the_k: mirror reflection of 1/3 of my head, creating a central third eye, a heart shaped face, and a super-pucker mouth (Default)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k

LeKesha, at the group blog Black Girl Nerds, meditates on the talents and mental illness of the marvelous Nina Simone:

quote, link, video  )

Spotify playlist
https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX8OYzU0lx5hL

jesse_the_k: Well nourished white woman riding black Quantum 4400 powerchair off the right edge, chased by the word "powertool" (JK powertool)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k

One of my earliest and longest-lasting fandoms is civic infrastructure. Not only did I float boats down the gutters when I was a child, I built dams and spillways.

decoding the title of this post )

A musical rabbit hole )

The Love You Give Is Enough

Sep. 13th, 2017 01:35 am
ofmonstrouswords: (thg: haymitch coffee)
[personal profile] ofmonstrouswords
Yesterday I ran a lot into something that’s physically painful for me to see: clappy hand emojis between words. It’s an internet trend to make what are considered important points this way, instead of the old-fashioned placing of a period between each word. (What. was. wrong. with. that?)

You’re probably wondering why/how it makes me sick. The best explanation I can come up with is that my visual processor is over-developed and hyper-competent after a lifetime of having to make up for my auditory disabilities — my hearing is fine, my brain has problems processing and parsing sounds — and so when I read things, I experience them more vividly than people without that disability do.

My lack of ability to properly parse things I hear means my visual processor makes up for it by making me hear things mentally really well when I read them. This is why shitty punctuation in a book drives me insane. I can’t just skim over it when reading; it’s integrally a part of what I’m experiencing. It tells me how to “hear” things in my mind, and if it’s wrong, it will fuck up my entire experience.

(This is also why I loathe the practice of 2 spaces after a period. It makes my brain grind to a halt when I’m reading something, because one space is a normal pause between sentences for me. Two spaces is the emergency brake.)

My experience seeing the clappy hand emojis between words is to feel as if I’m being slapped or punched in the face after every word. Reading a sentence written that way gives me a headache and makes me nauseated.

And to be honest, even if it didn’t cause me physical pain, I would find it the most annoying fucking thing on the planet. So either way, I’d be stoked if people could fucking stop doing it.

Anyway. Yesterday I saw like, 3 or 4 tweets using this method so I spent most of the day feeling headachey and sick to my stomach. One of them, however, is what inspired this post.

This was from an account I used to enjoy following, and from someone I thought was pretty cool. Not only did they use the clappy hands emoji thing that makes me sick, but they used it to repeat a really damaging belief: “you can’t love somebody until you love yourself.” (I’m pretty sure that’s what the tweet said exactly; I just went and double-checked as fast as I could before getting too sick. Am super nauseated right now anyway.)

This is a bullshit idea and I am so sick of hearing it repeated.

I have strong feelings about this.
Working on self-love is, of course, important, and something I encourage EVERYONE to do. But the phrasing of this idea, the way it’s always put forth, makes it a zero-sum game: you cannot love someone until you love yourself. Unsaid in that sentence: your whole self. You cannot love someone until you love yourself 100%.

This idea leads to a horrible self-repeating spiral of self-hate. That sentence also says that if you DO love someone when you don’t love yourself, it’s not enough. It’s not GOOD enough. Your love for your spouse or sister or daughter or son or best friend — it’s not enough, because you don’t love yourself first.

And because your love isn’t enough — because you don’t love yourself — you are obviously not worthy of that person. And if you’re not worthy of that person, then you are, of course, not worthy of THEIR love and thus unlovable.

How the fuck are you supposed to work on self-love if you keep getting told that the love you give isn’t good enough?

I’m a broken person. I’m damaged goods. I always will be; doesn’t mean I want to be treated like I am. You can glue something back together, but those cracks will always be visible.

Most days I absolutely hate myself. But you know who I love? Mr. Katje, my husband. I love him so much I can sometimes forget what an awful person I am. I love him so much I can forget that I hate myself.

And Mr. Katje loves me, and because he loves me, he helps me work on these things. He reminds me to eat, because I can’t love myself enough to do that. He reminds me to take my pills, because sometimes I cannot take that care of myself. His reminders build up, and become my reminders: I eat because Mr. Katje loves me, so I am worth loving, so I need to love myself. I take my pills because Mr. Katje loves me, so I am not an unlovable monster, so I need to take care of myself.

Through his love of me, I am slowly, very slowly discovering self-love. It is self-love based in the love of another person.

I suppose people who believe that self-love must be entirely self-generated, a virgin birth in your heart, would see that as unhealthy.

I believe humans are pack animals and we cannot exist alone. I believe relying on oneself to the exclusion of all else is unhealthy. I believe we need each other in the same way we need food, water, shelter.

So I do not see my building up my self-love based on the love others give me as unhealthy. I see it as human.

I know Mr. Katje struggles with self-love, too. I know he has doubts; I know he has that voice inside that tells him he’s not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough for me. I know he feels he’s not a good enough husband for me, because he can’t support me like he wants to, because he’s been damaged by a lifetime of society shoving it down his throat that if he’s not earning big bucks, he’s not good enough.

(Kyriarchy damages men too.)

He is enough. He will always be enough, regardless our money situation, regardless what lies society screams at him. And if the love he gives is enough for me, then the love I give has to be enough for him.

It’s not fair to ask damaged people to put everything on hold while they try to figure out how to love themselves, and then to tell them that if they can’t figure that out, they don’t deserve to love anyone else.

It’s not fair to ask that of anyone.

Spend time cultivating self-love, as much as you can. But if you cannot get that to 100% — that’s okay. If all you can manage is 5% on a good day — that’s okay. The love you give is still worthy. The love you give is enough. The love you give is not subtracted from by the hate you feel for yourself. This is not algebra.

We may be brokenhearted, but we are enough, and whatever love we can pump out of those damaged organs is enough. It has to be, or humanity doesn’t stand a chance.

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--
kaberett: a patch of sunlight on the carpet, shaped like a slightly wonky heart (light hearted)
[personal profile] kaberett
you might also like Heartstopper, an LGBT comic about a British grammar school, which I have just inhaled this evening after one of you all reblogged it on the tumbls xx

(comment I left on the Patreon: 3-2 came across my dash earlier this evening, I have just read EVERYTHING (with laughing-out-loud and misting-up and making-my-partner-read-bits), thank you *so much* for this. -- I am 27, I was in Year 9 when Section 28 was repealed, I was the only out queer in my secondary school of 1000+ students, and I recognise these crushes SO HARD. Thank you so, so much for making this be a thing in the world, and I am really looking forward to reading more. <3)

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Naomi J./Leithin Cluan/Sophia Catherine

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